


21

by notcrindy



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angus is on the case, Gen, alcohol in this one, also Taako is drugged at one point but don't worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-26 03:52:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13227534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notcrindy/pseuds/notcrindy
Summary: It's Angus's twenty-first birthday next week, but he'll be working all day.Guess Taako's gotta take him out for the best birthday bash of his life early, then!





	21

Next week, Angus McDonald, World’s Greatest Detective, will be turning twenty-one.

He’s pretty adamant about people not needing to do anything special, especially since he’s pretty swamped with actual detective work these days and all. Birthdays, he’s tried to insist to everyone, were never really that big of a deal to him anyway, and before he’d found his current odd little family no one even really made a point to remember he had any. It was sweet, really, the year Magnus carved him his own little wooden duck; he still tends to the plant Merle got him one year faithfully, and any desserts made by Taako or Lup are something to treasure. He’s even accepted Barry’s gift of plain ol’ blue jeans before, and Lucretia’s journal still comes in handy. It’s nice, the way they want to do something every year to make him feel special, but he’s getting a little old for this now and has better things to do.

So he makes sure that he’s busy on his birthday, throwing himself into a particularly tricky case. That’s enough to throw most everyone off, though some people just give him presents and birthday wishes in advance, and that’s sweet enough, too. He’s appreciative, always grateful for  _ any _ positive attention, but he wants to start making his mark as a Serious Adult who does Serious Adult Things. It’s probably time for that, he guesses.

But if he were that much of an adult, it probably wouldn’t be so easy for Taako to sneak up on him.

“‘Sup, Ango.” He’s already leaning casually against the upholstery, hat pulled down and obscuring part of his face, and he’s sporting a wicked grin. “Little birdie told me you’ll be turning twenty-one soon. Not that I like, care or anything.”

Angus is never deterred by Taako’s statements like this. As it is with Magnus and Merle, any nastiness that he seems to show outwardly is just hiding something vulnerable inwardly. The truth is easy to spot if you know where to look, and by now he knows every single one of their tells. Taako is  _ particularly _ soft for him, though, and so he sometimes acts the most disaffected. It isn’t personal or meant to hurt him; anyone can tell that by now.

“Boy, those little birds  _ never _ lead you astray, sir.” 

“They never seem to, do they?” Taako’s voice is agreeable, glad enough that Angus knows he must have something planned, especially when he tries to feign apathy and examine his nails. “Listen, I mean, you  _ know _ by now I have better things to do than celebrate your birthday. That’s understood.”

“Oh, undoubtedly, sir,” Angus chirrups back with all the loyalty in the world.

“Good.” Taako murmurs in approval, still heavily fixated on his nails. “But these jokers, you know… ...none of ‘em know how to have as good a time as me.”

“You sure about that, sir? Miz Lup might contest you on that one.”

“ _ Pfftch,  _ Lup.” The elf rolls his eyes up to the ceiling. “Girl knew how to party once, it’s true, but then she got struck by... ...a denim fetish.”

Angus laughs awkwardly, more uncomfortable than anything else. “Sir!”

“What?” He’s back to grinning. “ _ Someone _ had to say it. We all know it’s  _ true. _ Anyway, the circumstances bein’ what they are and all… ...Taako thought maybe  _ he _ could do somethin’ for your big Two-One. I mean, if I--if I  _ have _ to, and I  _ clearly _ do. Have to do everything ‘round this place, really.”

Oh, no. Taako’s putting on such a good show of not caring and everything, but he’s wringing his hands, and Angus just  _ knows _ he’s about to break his heart in half. He might pretend not to care, but he cares so  _ much, _ and it’s gonna be hard to stand his ground now. “Aw,  _ shit, _ sir,” he sighs somewhat bluntly. “You know I love it when you guys, um--remember my birthday, and also that I exist.”

“Damn  _ right  _ you do.”

“But uh, I’m actually busy this year, sir. Swamped with work.”

Taako scoffs, as expected. “ _ Work? _ What kid your age is too swamped with  _ work? _ ”

“Um, I’d imagine a lot of them are, sir,” Angus says. “I’m turning twenty-one, so that’s… ...not exactly a weird age for someone to have a job, it’s pretty adult for humans anyway--”

“Well,  _ fine _ then. I  _ guess _ I’m just gonna have to take you out tonight instead.”

“Tonight?”

“Uh, yeah. That’s what I said. You know, Angus, sometimes I think you might need your ears checked. Or maybe they’re just too small, huh? Prob’ly.” He clicks his tongue out of some kind of pity or something.

“But Mister Taako, uh, sir--”

“You know what, Agnes? First birthday gift to you, from me, Taako: you can drop the formalities tonight, okay? That’s just Taako to you. ... _ Mister _ Taako. ...Sir. From TV. ...You know what, what you’re doing right now is perfect, never mind,” he rambles, waving a dismissive hand. “Sometimes you should just stick with the classics, kid.”

In the past, a tangent like that might’ve thrown Angus for a loop, but not anymore. He’s too used to things like this to be thrown off one bit. “Taako, um--”

“Ah, ah, ah.” He holds up a finger. “ _ Mister _ Taako.”

Angus knows by now when Taako’s trying to fuck with him, but he sputters anyway, too used to routine.

“It’s just that that’s,” he babbles, “such short notice! I haven’t had any time to prepare or anything.”

“O _ kay, _ well,” Taako trills, slinging an arm over Angus’s shoulder. “There’s your adult lesson number one, right there! Numero uno, and it’s a real good one: you can’t plan for  _ everything. _ That’s something you’ve needed to learn for a real long time, yeah? It’s a good thing I’m here to set you straight. Can’t really use  _ that _ line on many folks, can I?”

“Pretty good goof, sir,” Angus admits, the same way he always has since he was a little boy. “But I just don’t know if--”

Taako puts a finger to his lips. “Oh, Angus. Angus, Angus, Angus. You worry too much! Worry ‘n’ fret. People end up with ulcers that way, you know? Lesson number two. Shit, I’m good at this.”

“Very educational, sir,” Angus admits with the finger still over his lips.

“Right, exactly! That’s the whole point, y’see? It  _ all _ ties together. Tonight is gonna be educational as all  _ fuck. _ It’s a can’t miss. So what d’you say, kiddo?”

Angus knows, just knows, that the only reason Taako is being  _ this _ obnoxious is because he’s trying  _ so hard. _ Sure, there were sometimes in his teen years where it was harder even to get along with his adopted family and feel understood; he looked it up in a lot of books about teen development, and feelings like that are pretty normal, especially since his housing situation has always been unconventional at best. But now that he’s growing older and wiser, less awkward and prone to cracks of the voice, he’s starting to have a lot more sympathy for this group of misfits he calls family, so out of place they made their own and took him in.

It  _ looks _ like he’s being irritating and chatty on the surface, but Angus always knows how to look past stuff like that. A big part of his line of work as a detective is looking beyond how things might  _ seem _ to be to the truth of the matter, and it’s surprisingly a pretty handy skill to learn with people, too. He knows Taako would only be this insistent if he really, truly wanted and  _ needed _ Angus to tag along with him tonight, so…

...so okay, he agrees.

“Fuck  _ yeah, _ ” Taako crows victoriously. “Prepare to be  _ schooled,  _ little man.”

“Oh, I’m  _ prepping,  _ sir,” lies Angus.

“ _ Good. _ ” And just like that, the wizard’s back to pretending he doesn’t care, straightening his posture and looking like he has much better places to be and things to do. Angus wonders if he does or if it’s just bullshitting, and this time it’s much harder to tell. “Guess that’s that, then. Pick you up ‘round eight or so, if that’s cool.”

“Ice cold, sir,” Angus retorts, and he feels lame.

“ _ Nice, _ ” Taako praises him probably at least semi-unironically, giving him a high five before Angus can even stop to think about it. With that, he starts to leave, then stops. “Oh, and Angus?”

“Yeah?”

“If we’re gonna hang, you  _ might _ wanna think about wearin’ some snazzier threads.” All of this is said with the usual casual handwave and slight shrug of the shoulders. “Just sayin’. Okay, toodles!”

Just like that, Taako is gone almost as quickly as he appeared, and Angus is left staring down at his blue-and-white plaid sweater vest and wondering what could be wrong with it. This is how their encounters usually go, and Angus knows better than to think one of these days Taako might change his mind about his wardrobe, but he can’t help but frown when he realizes his only other clothing options are just variations on this thing. Knowing how his usual quality times with Taako tend to go, Angus can’t help but think they’ll be doing something that doesn’t require getting so dressed up anyway, a cooking lesson or a magic lesson maybe.

He still finds himself rooting through his closet, though, like always. Maybe he could try wearing something a little brighter, like mustard yellow plaid? He has a cap ‘n’ bowtie to match, and maybe the same ol’ khakis can be overlooked when Taako sees his fancy polished brown shoes. He looks himself over in the mirror and knows that’s the best he can do.

When Taako arrives, he’s feeling pretty good about himself. “Now wait just a  _ second. _ ”

Angus freezes. Maybe he didn’t do good enough, but oh well--

“Lookin’ pretty good, Agnes! In that sorta Ango McDango charming way of yours.”

He finds that he’s blushing, just a little. “ _ Wow, _ um. I mean, thanks, sir.” He has to try not to be such a starstruck  _ kid _ around Taako anymore, especially if they’re going out to celebrate his upcoming birthday.

“There’s just one thing  _ missing. _ ”

“Hm?”

One spell later and his cap has a feather in it. Probably unnecessary, but Taako insists that it adds a certain flair to the whole thing, and he would know so off they go.

“Where are we actually  _ going, _ sir?” He’s never had to ask this question before. Cooking and magic lessons could always be taught from home, desserts could always be consumed at his own leisure, and Taako hasn’t ever willingly wanted to take him  _ out _ before.

“Now, now, Angus,” Taako chastises him. “You know I can’t very well give away the surprise!”

But Angus is no good with surprises, everyone knows. Angus treasures his gifts and loves his family deeply, but he figures them all out in five seconds flat. “Wait a minute. You’re taking me out for my twenty-first birthday…” It’s not that difficult to put it together. “Sir, are you attempting to take me to a  _ bar? _ ”

“Aw, dag, you got me,” Taako responds with another dismissive wave. “Of  _ course _ I’m takin’ you to a bar, Aggs. That’s like, twenty-first human birthday 101.”

“Is the legal age different for elves?” He asks, getting slightly distracted by being curious as he always is. “I mean, since you age and mature at different rates than us and everything--”

“Who the hell knows! I never knew.” And that’s the end of that.

“But sir,” he keeps his voice down low. “I’m not twenty-one yet! I’m  _ twenty! _ ”

“Psh, so? You’ll be twenty-one in like, an eyeblink, so what’s the problem?”

“I’m still under the legal drinking age,” he whispers as they grow closer to something approaching a bar. 

“Yeah, and I have a  _ plan, _ ” Taako says, and he winks.

He’s almost too afraid to ask. “...Is it a good one, sir?”

“I have a  _ plan, _ Angus,” he winks again. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Okay, but maybe we shouldn’t be talking about this so close to--”

“Don’t worry about it. Now, are you with me or not, kid?”

“I, uh, I guess I’m with you.” He swallows hard in fear as they approach the door and open it and attempt to get in. “And I’m not a kid.”

“Yuh-hum,” hums Taako, looking distracted before he produces two I.D.s out of his pocket. His seems pretty legit, at least that Angus can tell, but his own--

His heart skips a beat as they’re both accepted into the bar.

“ _ Literally everything about this is illegal, _ ” he whispers, in worried tones. Angus can’t help but feel like everyone’s staring at him, and it’s so terrible that he almost tries to hide behind Taako just a little bit.

“ _ Relaaax,  _ kiddo! The I.D.’s  _ gonna  _ be legit next week anyways. It’s no bigs!”

“Sir, I’m sorry to say I disagree, but this is  _ i-incredibly bigs, _ sir,” he’s still whispering. “And we could get in very big trouble for this. And for serving us, the people here could lose their  _ liquor license,  _ and--” Taako’s not even paying any mind to him, sitting at the bar and motioning for him to sit next to him.

“My boy here’s a little nervous. ‘m takin’ ‘im out for his birthday today, and it’s his first time bein’ in one of these joints.”

“Oh, well, happy birthday!” The bartender addresses Angus. “Don’t worry, I’ll make you somethin’ real nice. Do you have any idea what you might like?”

It’s too late. He’s already in the thick of it. The only thing to do is to act natural. “Um, well I always was kind of partial to virgin blueberry daiquiris.”

“All right, then! I’ll get’cha the real thing, coming right up. ‘n’ of course Taako there can have somethin’ special on the house.”

“How kind!” Taako’s probably used to being treated this way by now. Not only is he what most might consider to be “pretty,” but everyone knows his whole story by now, and he’s pretty famous for a lot of reasons. Angus takes a deep breath, tries to calm down, and reminds himself not to be so starstruck anymore.

They hand him some kind of pink margarita and Angus his daiquiri, and his eyes continue to dart around nervously and he drums his fingers on the table.

“Seriously, Angus, just let yourself kick back ‘n’--”

“It’s not really that anymore, sir,” he says. “I mean, okay, it is, but also--it’s um, really loud in here. I… I don’t know if I like it.” There are flashing lights everywhere, loud music blaring and he kind of just wants to--curl up and not think about it. 

Taako instantly gets that look in his eyes that lets Angus know he’s being taken seriously. “No, Taako gets’cha completely. Follow me, okay?” He takes his gigantic margarita with him and then moves over to the back of the bar, where there’s a balcony. Angus hesitantly takes his daiquiri with him, following him out.

“Are we allowed to drink these out here, sir?” He asks, looking down at the view below.

“Were you allowed to drink yours  _ in there? _ ”

“Good point, I--uh--I guess. Still illegal, but um. ...Thanks. This is kind of nice when it’s just us.”

“Oh, you don’t have to get so sappy, Angus,” Taako says dismissively. “Taako  _ knows _ when he’s done good. And I have, haven’t I? I’ve done good.”

“Yeah,” he admits.

Things are okay for awhile as he takes hesitant careful sips of the daiquiri. He still finds it to his liking and doesn’t feel especially buzzed or tipsy or anything, so that’s good. That’s especially good, because Taako is all but  _ downing _ his margarita far too quickly, and he already seems wasted.

“And it’s like, I says to ‘im, I says, I says,” he grabs Angus a little. “D’you know what I says to him? I says, ‘Ango, live a lil,  **_okay?_ ** ’ and the kid’s all like, ‘Okay,’ ‘cuz he’s the best or somethin’. Do you know what I mean?”

He can’t help but smile. “Maybe you’ve had enough, sir.”

“Oh, no, no, no,  _ no _ don’t’chu worry Agnes, your ol’ Papa Taako can hold ‘is liquor.”

He’s scared to speak, in case he jinxes it. “Did you… did you just call yourself my papa?”

“Did I? I prob’ly did. I uh, feel a little dizzy.”

He doesn’t have time at all to sit and think about this sweet moment, because Taako is feeling dizzy and he knows enough to know that is  _ not _ a good sign. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m  _ great, _ ” says Taako, all but collapsing on the balcony. “I’m fine, everything’s cool, what’d’you wanna do  _ now? _ ” He’s slurring and stumbling through the words, but the dizziness worries Angus a lot.

“Um, let’s get you up first.”

“Okay, that sounds reeeeal good, let’s get me up first.” He giggles. “Up first. I like it.”

Oh, boy. This isn’t--well, it is being drunk, Angus knows, but this is something else, too. And it’s really not that great. He tugs Taako and tries to support his body weight, and actually he does a pretty damn good job. Taako is so lithe it’s almost no problem as he walks back into the bar, completely abandoning both drinks, and goes straight to the bartender.

“You  _ drugged _ my friend.”

The Tabaxi shrugs. “He just looks drunk to me.”

“You are  _ so _ wise,” Taako says, completely out of it. “I’m just way  _ dizzy _ is all. How’s everybody  _ else _ feelin’? Feelin’ dizzy up in this bitch?” He giggles again. “Hell yeah!!”

“Um, no, you  _ drugged _ him. See? Watch. Taako, you’ve been drugged.”

“ _ What? _ ” He’s in tears. “Angus, how could you  _ do this _ to m--”

“Not by me. By  _ him. _ ” He points his finger at the bartender again.

“Wow, well,  _ fuck _ you!!”

The Tabaxi watches all this, clearly uninterested and unintimidated in the least. “Yeah, that… ...that still seems pretty drunk to me.”

“Nope, because he’s  _ suggestible. _ Taako, I think you should let me carry you home.”

“Yeah, okay… Good call…”

He’s already starting to doze off.

“That’s not being suggestible, that’s--”

“Taako, you know what you should do? Tell me you love me.”

“I love you  _ so _ much,” he says, not even aware of the words.

“You  _ drugged _ him because you were probably hoping to get some personal information or something out of him--”

“My credit card number is--”

“No, Taako, shh. It’s… ...it’s okay, buddy. Just sleep for now.”

“‘kay.” And he sleeps.

“But that’s too bad,” he whispers, “‘cuz I know what you’re up to and I’m the world’s greatest detective! You can’t pull the wool over  _ my _ eyes, or anyone else’s eyes, uh,  any longer!!”

That last bit just seems like a cool thing to say.

“Also, before we leave this place forever and never come back, you should know that you served alcohol to a  _ minor _ tonight. That’s right, I’m  _ twenty, _ and I hope you all lose your liquor licenses and business  _ forever. _ ”

“...Who cares? You’re almost twenty-one, right?”

“ _ Not _ the point, and exactly why you’ve got to get shut down immediately. Good day.”

As he walks out of the bar with his sleeping friend in his arms, Angus feels pretty goddamn grown up. He walks Taako all the way home, occasionally soothing his murmuring. Kravitz must be busy this time of night; maybe that’s why Taako was so eager to hang out with him in the first place. It’s a good thing he doesn’t know about this just yet, probably.

He carries Taako inside and then tucks him into bed. The elf stirs. “What’s… ...what’s happenin’? What’s goin’ on? Where am I? Who’re you?”

“I’m Angus, your boy and the World’s Greatest Detective, and you just gave me the best birthday ever.”

“Oh, ‘s good…” He sighs. “I really wanted to.”

“I know. So you don’t have to worry, okay? Sleep now.” He smooths back a lock of his hair.

When he’s done doing that, he writes a note for Kravitz about what happened and leaves it for him to read. He knows he’ll be properly taken care of once Angus leaves, but he’ll probably check in on him tomorrow to be sure. Some of those drugs can last awhile, especially in elves. 

“Thank you,” he whispers.

Mission accomplished: as he goes home, Angus feels twenty-one already.

**Author's Note:**

> this was for two prompts: "Yeah, I have a plan." "Is it a good one?" "I have a plan." and "Literally everything about this is illegal!" haha. i hope it's... enjoyable! either way it's out there, so. happy new year!


End file.
